Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Primary and Secondary Template in a Marriage

Psychologist Vijay Nagaswami in one of his books explains how a groom and bride walk into the marriage with a primary template or a primary set of expectations. This primary template is mostly derived from the lifestyle of parents, relatives, and close friends. Say for example the husband expects his wife to give all her earnings to him. Or the wife wants a nuclear family.

Most of the times, this Primary Template of either partner may not work. So, both the hubby and wify tweak their Primary Template a bit and arrive at a Secondary Template. Say the husband agrees to take only a part of the earnings of his wife or share household expenses. The wife may agree to live in a joint family for the first five years of marriage and later move into a nuclear family.

All is well for the couple if they are able to lessen their egos and settle for a Secondary Template. Else it is splitsville in the making. So, wats brewing in your family cuppas ;)))

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